May 2013
2 posts
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Jaime Niedermeier is 31 years old, lives in Oakland, and is an artist, teacher, and dog trainer. I photographed her with her emotional support dog, Beacon. Below, she discusses why she attempted suicide and we talk a little bit about companion animals as an option for those of us who live with mental illness.
I moved to San Francisco about five and a half years ago with my now ex-wife who was in...
April 2013
3 posts
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I met Patty Overland at her home in Berkeley, California. At the age of 19, she became physically disabled as a result of her suicide attempt. Now 59, she is a LGBTQ and disability rights advocate. Here, she talks about being a survivor and the power and unity to be found in sharing our stories.
And, for the first time (thanks to Kickstarter backers), below Patty’s interview, be sure to...
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I spent the entirety of the week before last working on LTT in San Francisco. It was quite the test run, I have to say. I met 19 amazing humans with equally amazing stories (if you’re not following LTT on Facebook yet, you missed my favorite outtake from Patty Overland’s interview, which should be up sometime soon). We met in coffee shops, bakeries, in the sunlight outside a Vietnamese...
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Elsa Sjunneson-Henry is a rogue feminist scholar and a burlesque performer who also happens to be blind in one eye and deaf in one ear. We met at a bar in Bushwick. She told me her story over a beer.
She wrote to me before we met: “I am willing to bet that there are a lot of people with disabilities who [attempt] suicide, or who have the kind of suicidal thoughts that will lead to it. What...
March 2013
3 posts
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The Kickstarter campaign ends at 11 AM EST tomorrow, and we’re so very close to reaching the first stretch goal (filmmakers in every city)! Thanks again to everyone who contributed financially or behind the scenes, who shared and shared and shared on social media, who shared in my inbox, and who cared about helping me make this thing a reality. I am full-up with gratitude.
I can’t...
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WE DID IT! At about 7pm Tuesday night, as I sat in a bar sipping a beer and reading a book (I like to call this “location scouting”), I got the email informing me that we’d reached the 100% mark. I didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry. I still don’t. What I do know is that Live Through This will officially be funded!
Thank you so much to everyone who contributed...
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A LTT supporter sent this link along last week, and it seemed worth sharing. It’s a Thrash Lab short on Patton Oswalt and the secret life of the comic. It starts to get interesting between 5:00-7:00, when he discusses depression and suicide.
This little gem is particularly insightful: “It’s okay to be depressed sometimes. It’s okay to just be gloomy. It is kind of funny...
February 2013
5 posts
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One week into the Live Through This Kickstarter campaign, and we’re already nearing the $10,000 mark! I’m shocked and amazed by the outpouring of support. It’s nice to see that suicide awareness means so much to others out there—sometimes it’s hard to hear questions like, “but why do you want to focus on something so dark?”
We’re in the midst of last...
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Quick update: 1. We’ve raised over $6k in the first two days of the campaign! If things keep moving along at this pace, we should be fully funded in no time. If we manage to exceed the funding goal, I’ll be able to collect stories and portraits in more places that aren’t currently on my list (I have my eye on Wyoming and Montana—there are some incredible people I’d...
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Live Through This is officially LIVE on Kickstarter!
We successfully raised $2k in the first hour! I’m overwhelmed, excited, and nervous. It’s a solid start, but there’s much more work to do.
Please take a look at the video, click and share this link (http://livethroughthis.org/ks). Anything you can do to help is incredibly appreciated–even if all you’ve got is a...
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BIG NEWS: The Kickstarter campaign launches tomorrow morning at 11 AM EST. I’m so excited to share it with you guys! Last night, I posted a Pinterest exclusive preview of the LTT video made by Jakfoto Films. Take a look (and re-pin, if you’re into that sort of thing)!
In the meantime, I’ve got another portrait to share with you…
Caitlin Coleman’s suicide attempt and...
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The point here is that there are certain behavioral traits that can be talked about, but unless you’ve experienced the impulse behind them, they remain theoretical. Most of the time, this is for the best. After my brush with the suicidal impulse, I listen with new ears to others when they speak on the subject. I think there are people who were born with that little door open, and they have...
January 2013
1 post
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Researchers using data from suicide victims'... →
I spent the entirety of this week redesigning the site to give it a). better functionality, and b). more information. Each drop down menu is packed with information about the project (including stats on suicide with citations), and there’s even a Survivors page where you can see every single portrait that I’ve made for Live Through This thus far, in the order they were made. I’m...
December 2012
1 post
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More and more, I get these beautiful, terrible, sad emails from surviving family members and friends of people who completed suicide. Recently, I happened upon one that had been misdirected to my spam inbox. It was from Kevin Clark, a friend of a friend who’d lost his sister, Lisa, to suicide just a couple of days earlier. He detailed her struggles and his own. He expressed regret—the...
November 2012
1 post
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I met Chris Benedetto in a lively park on the Upper East Side of Manhattan—such an interesting juxtaposition for the story he told me that day. Here is a man who has fought addiction and homelessness, who strives every single day. Below, he talks about external validation and tests of faith. Take a look.
There were times when I just felt like such a misfit. I remember—I’ve been in and out...
September 2012
2 posts
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Frankie Barretto left a troubled home life to join the U.S. Army and fell into a deep depression after being discharged for a knee injury. Suicide is the second most common cause of death in the U.S. military. Below, Frankie discusses some of the issues we face with reintegrating soldiers into society.
I was in the Army with so many people and I got out right out before everything happened.
...
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Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. Six years ago, I tried to kill myself. That same year, I lost one of my best friends to suicide. In some way or another, I think we’ve all been touched by suicide: we’ve attempted, we know someone who’s attempted, we’ve lost a family member or friend, or we’ve watched someone we know go through that staggering brand of loss. The...
August 2012
2 posts
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I make it a point not to divulge methods here because it can be triggering for some, but Kevin Hines has an incredible (and incredibly well-documented) story. He attempted suicide twelve years ago and has since become a nationally recognized suicide prevention advocate. Below, he discusses the phenomenon of celebrities who have attempted suicide and the power they have but, in most cases, choose...
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Though I share a hometown with Krista Andrews, we managed to lead lives wholly ignorant of the other’s existence until we moved to New York in our mid-twenties and met through a mutual friend. Hearing her story affected me so deeply that I went home and made my own portrait for Live Through This immediately after making hers.
Below, she discusses America’s pharmaceutical culture and...
July 2012
2 posts
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Marina Kastan attempted suicide when she was a teenager. She also struggled with self-injury. Below, we discuss her thoughts on the relationship between the two.
Dese’Rae: “Do you think there’s a connection between cutting and suicide? For you, was there?” Marina: “I don’t. I think they’re really separate things. In my experience of it, the cutting was an action, and the suicide attempt...
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LTT is now (finally) on Facebook! If you’re feeling generous, would you go on over there, click the ‘Like’ button, and maybe even share with your friends? Let’s keep this dialogue going!
June 2012
1 post
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I recently worked on a video about LTT with Kiera and Josh from Jakfoto Films. That should be available for your consumption in the next several weeks. In the process of filming, we worked with LTT participants Cara Anna and Joey Olszewski, who had never met before and hit it off. Cara maintains a blog where she talks with suicide attempt survivors about their experiences, and she recently...
April 2012
2 posts
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Friend and official LTT videographer Aleksandar Cosic grabbed some candid shots of me working with Krista Andrews back in January. Check ‘em out. You’ll see Krista’s story at some point in the near future.
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I first met Devin Jones on a social networking site way back when. These days, we don’t have an entire country between us and hang when we can. Below, he discusses some of the stigma associated with depression.
I saw some picture online, actually, and it was a really good quote that summarized everything. The gist of it was, ‘do I tell people when I have issues that I’m dealing...
February 2012
1 post
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Ever since I started this project, I’ve grappled with the idea of including myself as a participant.
I decided to go ahead and do so for two reasons:
I needed to make myself vulnerable to this process so that I could understand what the people who are sharing their stories with me might be feeling in these moments.
My experiences with nearly a decade of using self-injury as a maladaptive...
January 2012
7 posts
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Nicole Keimer is the first person I interviewed and photographed for Live Through This. Since our shoot, I’ve changed my interview format and my shooting technique, which accounts for why her portrait is stylistically so different from the rest. The project evolves with every new story.
Nicole has been an active member of the suicide prevention community for years and spends quite a bit of...
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I met Joey Olszewski in McCarren Park in Brooklyn. I found out in the middle of our interview that we were just feet from where he made his attempt. I’m so glad that suicide wasn’t one of his successes. Below, he discusses his methods of coping with his attempt as well as the reality that mental health takes real work to achieve, and it isn’t always easy.
Eventually, it just...
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Chris Agudo’s suicide attempt and subsequent hospitalization was the inspiration for Living is So Big, the life appreciation organization he and his family operate. They travel around the country helping people of all ages find their reasons why life is worth living. Below, Chris shares what saved his life.
For some reason… for some reason, out of nowhere, I’m like, ‘let me turn my phone...
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Yesterday, I did the sixth interview/shoot for LTT with Chris Agudo of Living is So Big. Chris is such a positive person, and his family is equally as charming. They snapped a behind the scenes shot of me working, which is below. I can’t wait to share Chris’s story with you guys.
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The CDC released preliminary data on their 2010 National Vital Statistics Reports earlier this week, which included the top 15 causes of death in the United States that year. Interesting fact, and the reason why I write this at all: suicide was tenth on the list, and homicide was altogether absent. Food for thought, yeah?
Thanks to the ever amazing Nurse Michelle for catching @vasta’s tweet...
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Cara Anna was a foreign correspondent for the Associated Press in Beijing when she attempted suicide most recently. Below, she shares a thought that really resonates with me:
You do things that define you and your life, and this is one of them, but it’s hidden because everyone is so scared of it. What would happen if we talked about it instead of hiding it away? What would happen? I...
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When last we spoke, I’d just done the first Live Through This shoot. Since then, I’ve done three more, and have three more scheduled. Things are rolling along nicely, and I’m so excited to finally share some of the work with you. I’d like to introduce the project to the world with the story of Tile, who had some brilliant, eloquent things to say about her experiences with...
December 2011
1 post
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I finally started shooting for Live Through This (LTT) yesterday. This has been a long time coming. I feel incredible, and incredibly inspired.
If you’re not familiar with LTT, it’s a project about life on the other side of a suicide attempt. Suicide is a terrifying epidemic. Instead of talking about it, we make broad generalizations about who it affects (ie., not us), and then sweep...
June 2011
2 posts
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I’m nearing the end of History of a Suicide: My Sister’s Unfinished Life, a memoir by Jill Bialosky. Years after her sister committed suicide, Bialosky contacted Dr. Edwin Shneidman to piece together a psychological autopsy.
In talking, he gave her a key piece of information—one thing everyone should know about suicide and its prevention:
“What should you do if you fear...
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Hello, everybody!
I apologize for the long silence. Summer’s here, and it’s business as usual behind the scenes at LTT headquarters.
T-shirts are out in the world! I’ve had reports back from cities as close as Philadelphia and as far as Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. It’s amazing to see all these smiling faces in support of such an important cause as suicide prevention.
Check...
April 2011
3 posts
The headline:
Shock, Tragedy at Bend ‘Open Mic’ Night: Teen Keyboard Performer Stabs, Kills Self as Crowd Looks On
A brief synopsis: 19 year old Kipp Rusty Walker performs at an open mic night at Strictly Organic Coffee Company in Bend, OR and then stabs himself in the chest repeatedly in front of the audience. He dies.
A Google search of “Kipp Rusty Walker” relays...
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A quick note for those of you who purchased a LTT t-shirt: The order has been placed and you should have your shirt within approximately two to three weeks.
We ordered some extras, but they’re going fast. We are now completely sold out of medium t-shirts. As I mentioned before, it may be awhile before we order more, so if we still have your size, make sure to head over to...
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Hello! I apologize for the long silence. We’ve been working hard behind the scenes and haven’t had much time to write.
Your two big updates for today are:
This is your last chance to grab an official LTT logo tee at the pre-sale price of $19.99 (plus shipping). We’re about to send off the order for the first batch of shirts, and it may be awhile before we order more. Check...
March 2011
3 posts
We’re a week and a half into the launch, and things are rolling along. There have been some bumps so far, but these things are to be expected. I’ve also gotten some extremely touching messages in my inbox. The project is already affecting people in ways I never could have imagined. I’m dumbfounded, and happy for it.
A huge update worth noting is that last week, thanks to a loan...
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…And we’re officially launched!
I’m really excited that Live Through This is becoming a reality. I’d been carrying this seedling around with me for years, this idea that maybe I could take my life experience and merge it with all the training I’ve had, both academically and artistically, to mold it into something bigger than me—something useful, something that...
Welcome to the new and improved home of Live Through This. Any and all project updates and other relevant information will be posted here over time. We’re still working on getting everything up and running, so bear with us, but bookmark this url, too!
In the meantime, check out our Live Through This T-shirts! All proceeds will go to getting this project off the ground. They’re going...
